Ira's Brief Life As A Spider Lyrics

I was just listening to Hissing Fauna You Are the Destroyer, and of course Horse & Elephant Eatery comes after that if you aren't quick on the controls. I came across this absurdist children's story (moreso than a song), which I think should be written out and published as a children's story + audio.
Strange world we live in, there are at least two homemade youtube videos to accompany this obscure track. My favorite by far so far is: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tczx7TGIdlU&feature=related. No, I am not presently under the influence.
Anyway, a few years back I wrote on this blog about Hissing Fauna being the magnanimous magnitude of magnificence that it is, and at this point I think there are a few tracks from Horse & Elephant that must be seen as classic historical pieces.


from: http://www.actionext.com/names_o/of_montreal_lyrics/iras_brief_life_as_a_spider.html

All the baby spiders in the nursery
waving to each other clinging to their mothers
and smile at their dads who say
"Now that's a clever lad"

One particular spider, who's parents had named Ira, fell out of his mother's arms and became lost inside the giant insect hospital. Since mother spiders give birth to so many babies at one time it is exceedingly difficult to keep track of all of them and sometimes a baby will get lost without it's mother ever being aware of its absence. Ira was just such a case. He crawled about for hours crying but his mother couldn't hear him for Ira was a mute. This is where the story gets interesting.

He opened his mouth and discovered a lake in a crater on his tongue. He was thirsty so he drank from the lake. This proved to be a fatal mistake as the lake was really a cake filled with poisonous snakes, and Ira died.

A nurse discovered dead baby Ira and sank with grief. She gently lifted him up to her breast and carried him weeping to the head nurse to see if any baby spiders had been reported missing. The head nurse checked her missing baby spider file and told her that "No, no missing baby spiders have been reported." The nurse holding dead baby Ira then asked if they could have a funeral for him. The head nurse, being a very caring grasshopper, agreed that that would be the proper thing to do. So they dug a small hole near a yellow tulip, held a brief but moving requiem and with great sadness buried baby Ira.

Miraculously, Ira was quickly reincarnated as a wild horse on the far off planet called Nearly. on Nearly, wild horses hold the majority in the senate and Ira has discovered pudding. His favorite is the kind without raisins.

All the baby spiders in the nursery
waving to each other clinging to their mothers
and smile at their dads who say
"Now that's a clever lad"



to update re: beer and/or music
I failed to reliably record the impressions left by the Sam Summer 12er.
I can say with confidence that Lucky Bucket (Nebraska)'s IPA is a hell of a dark, boozy IPA, but I cannot remember for the life of me the beer after which it was designed. As far as I can tell, it is the most sophisticated beer ever produced in Nebraska, though my perspective could possibly be skewed.
I plan to post a brief thing praising Target's Archer Farms (?) putanesca sauce. It is a smoky, olivy, amazing tomato sauce that makes anything taste much better. It is slightly more expensive than your Prego or target's cheaper brands (market pantry, etc), but it is totally worth it. Case in point, I had cold, several-day-old, leftover, whole-wheat pasta straight from the fridge with a splash of this sauce, and it was an excellent meal. I haven't checked yet, but I wouldn't doubt it's even good on rice, gnocchi, or couscous. Anyway, I'll check that out, and I'll get back here.

And finally, I don't know if this blog serves anything but self-satisfaction and bi-annual interactions, but I have made the executive decision that the topic is "food, beer, and music" ... and anything else that seems interesting or funny.

C